The final curtain

This is it. The final post, the last curtain call.  Whatever you want to call it.  It's been 8 months of a rollercoaster ride and I've decided it's come to an end.  The original intention was to document the stuff going on in my life in the hope that it may help someone else find their way through a similar situation and that I could look back and see how far I'd come.  Boy, how far have I come!!!

I'm not sure how much I want to say other than when I set out I was so damned naive.  And maybe those reading it knew I had so much to get through.  If I'd known then what I know now, I don't think I would have started writing it all down.

So what have I learned?  What do I want to pass on to anyone who might find themselves in the same position?

I've learned what true friendship means.  Cliqued maybe, but I know who my true friends are.  I've lost a couple along the way but there are many who have stepped up above and beyond the conventional norms of friendship.  Kind words and simple actions mean so much to me and I thank every one of you who has taken the time to phone, text, email, turn up on my doorstep or leave me a message. Put simply, I am still here because you cared.

I believed that life/God/the universe would give me what I needed/deserved.  Wow, I must have been a very good girl in a previous life!  I truly wasn't looking for it and I kissed a few frogs along the way but I found someone who really gets me.  My soulmate.  I haven't said much about him publicly but there are a few of you who know the gory details ;-)

And I found my exercise thing!  Ok, the fucking whooping cough got in the way but triathlon training really suits me.  I love it.  I will complete a triathlon this year, I'm just not gonna make too public.

So this is it.  Thanks for your support, the laughs, the advice, everything.  I'm still on FB so anyone who wants to know what I'm doing can be my friend there.  I'm still on the CL forum. But I'm taking a step back from the ultra scene.  You know why.  But my WHW family will always be in my heart.

My life is good and will keep on getting better. 

So, what else to say?  Nothing except love to you all.

Ali xxxxxxxxx

Bye bye Honda

Those of you unfortunate enough to know me IRL know of the on going saga I have had concerning a certain Honda dealership.  On Tuesday I experienced the final straw which made me decide I was ending my long relationship with Honda (4 CRVs and an Accord estate) and changing my car for a smaller more economical one.

It wasn't a rash decision as I had already done my research to downsize to either a Ka or an Aygo.  I went for a look in the Ford garage on Tuesday morning and drove home a shiny new Ka this afternoon.  Cheaper insurance, lower petrol costs and £20 road tax.  Can't argue with that.

So why have I spent the last 10 mins greeting??  (Shut up BDTP!!!)  It's only a box with 4 wheels and an engine to take me from A to B.  I've been talking and thinking about the changes in my life for over 7 months, so why am I caught out now they're actually happening?  Weird.

So, next thing to do is get a bike rack fitted.  And does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get an arthritic Golden Retriever in and out of a Ka??

Bounce!

I'm delighted to report that I've finally got my bounce back.  For the first time in 6 weeks I actually feel good again.  Not quite 100% but good enough to have been out a run twice this week and hopefully tomorrow I'll get out on my bike.  Still no idea if the tri is doable but I've entered a few other events over the summer to give me something to aim for.  And I've entered my first half marathon! Gotta do something to get that half a stone back off!!

Life is good again :-) xxx

Where did it go??

Something happened to me this week.  Not quite sure how or why but I seem to have all the confidence sucked out of me.  And no amount of arse kicking from the usual suspects has helped.

Training for the triathlon gave me a focus.  It gave me something else to think about. Frankly, it filled my head and pushed out the other crap that is in there.  Without it, I have no motivation to do anything. 

I have been asked loads of times this week if I'm still going to take part.  I honestly don't know.  It's not looking good.  A month without any swimming, cycling or running isn't really the best prep for any event.  And a month without any serious exercise has meant that I've put on half a stone.  Not great for boosting confidence either.

I'm not looking for sympathy,  I'm just expressing surprise that I feel this way about it.  Kinda unexpected that I'm crumbling at a time when I really should be getting better at handling everything that life is throwing at me.

Whoop!

The epitaph on the above grave stone reads "Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" which is Irish for "I told you I was ill." It can be found in the grounds of St Thomas, Winchelsea, East Sussex and is the resting place of comedy genius Spike Milligan.

For a month now I've been moaning, whinging and complaining that I was ill.  Today I found out that I've got whooping cough.  A classic case apparently.  So my apologies to anyone I've hugged, snogged or shared a bedroom with in the last month as it's fairly contagious in the first few weeks.

Training seriously is off the agenda.  I'm supposed to rest (and take the drugs!) in order to recover fully which could take 3 months.  I can do gentle exercise but not to get breathless.  It's less than 8 weeks to the tri but if I'm not fit to take part I won't.  I learned that lesson doing the NYC marathon!  There are loads of other events I can take part in.

I've got loads of other stuff on my plate right now so need to concentrate on some of those.  I'm also forcing myself to sit down and watch TV while knitting.  Doesn't quite give me the same buzz but better to live and fight another day.

Low

Sometimes no matter how hard I try to be positive and proactive, there are days when I just don't want to do this any more.  Today was one of those days.  I am so tired of doing this on my own.  I'm tired of people telling me it will get better or it will sort itself out in the end. Tired of the 'keep your chin up' and 'you're doing just great' comments.  My chin is on the floor and I'm not doing great.  I'm struggling. I'm tired.

I know it's probably just a post viral low.  And I know it's probably due to a lack of exercise.  I can't do anything about either of these things right now.  I'm still bloody coughing and wheezing.  I don't have time to still be ill. 

Another busy week!

Oh wow! What a week!! On Monday I had  to give in and go to the doctor.  For the first time in about 20 years I needed antibiotics as I have a nasty chest infection.  So that's now 2 weeks without any training.  Yikes!!  Everyone keeps telling me I'll be fine but it's now only 9 weeks until tri day!!!!!  I tried to go for a power walk yesterday but barely lasted a mile and came back breathless and wheezing.  Getting a bit pissed off with it now.

In other news, No1 son moved out on Wednesday.  It turned out to be relatively painfree.  For him!  Luckily my lovely mum came up to help me get him packed up.  A man with a big lorry turned up and he was moved out of here and into his wee flat in Crieff by lunchtime.  He loves it.  And No3 son loves it too as there is a wee second bedroom just for him!

The weekend brought the MacPirate engagement party.  Two very special people in my life got engaged on Christmas Day and had a bit of a do in Tyndrum last night to celebrate. I tried really hard to keep up with them but both nights I ended up in bed hours before everyone else.  Either I'm too old to party ALL weekend or I'm out of practice!

But it was a fab weekend, catching up with old friends, putting faces to names and making new friends.  It was lovely to see you all.

To Lee and Dave - wishing you all the love and happiness you both deserve

Ali xxx

PS What do you think Dave is saying to Lee?????