About Me

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I'm a 45 year old mother of 3 boys. I live in a beautiful old house that needs a lot of TLC with my youngest son and 2 dogs. I am working hard at keeping myself healthy and fit by working out and doing a spot of running. I'm a creative person and am passionate about keeping traditional skills alive. I cook, knit, bake, garden, preserve, read, write and am now learning to spin and quilt. Oh and I sometimes swear.....

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Questions and Answers

For months now I've been driving myself nuts (and everyone else!) with endless questions.  How am I going to get through this?  What am I going to do?  Why has this happened to me? When will my life get better?  I was convinced that if someone could just tell me the answers then everything would be ok.  Then came the realisation that I had to find the answers for myself. And even though I tried really hard to work them out I just couldn't answer those pesky questions.

So I did something totally radical (for me)  I stopped asking questions.  It was as simple as that.  I just stopped. 

And do you know what?  Once I stopped frantically looking for the answers to what were essentially unanswerable questions, the answers came to me.  Not magical solutions that made my life instantly better but more like small reassurances that everything is working out.  I just hadn't noticed.

A few days ago I went back to the beginning of this blog and re read every post.  I feel like I am a totally different person now.  The intention was to leave a record of the journey I found myself taking.  The destination was (and still is) unknown but already the journey has been an interesting one.  Could anyone have predicted that I'd be in training for triathlon right now?  Or that I'd be getting excited about studying opera and jazz?

The time and energy wasted in chasing those elusive answers is now being put to better use.  And I feel lighter.  I didn't realise that carrying those questions around was crushing me.  I can breath again.


Santababy said...

I found reading back my old blogs really helpful too Ali, i still do occasionally. Good luck in your new adventures.

allybea said...

Thanks Sandra. Some of it was hard to read but our experiences make us the people we are now. I like who I am now :-)

Here's to OUR new adventures xxx

Subversive Runner said...


Lee Maclean said...

My mate Derek chucked himself in at the deepend as far as tris go but check it out...xx

allybea said...

Dave honey, I agree but not knowing the answers really doesn't bother me any more :-) xxx

Lee, I had a quick look at Derek's blog but I'll spend more time on it later. Need to order my bike right now ;-) xxx