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I'm a 45 year old mother of 3 boys. I live in a beautiful old house that needs a lot of TLC with my youngest son and 2 dogs. I am working hard at keeping myself healthy and fit by working out and doing a spot of running. I'm a creative person and am passionate about keeping traditional skills alive. I cook, knit, bake, garden, preserve, read, write and am now learning to spin and quilt. Oh and I sometimes swear.....

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Where did it go??

Something happened to me this week.  Not quite sure how or why but I seem to have all the confidence sucked out of me.  And no amount of arse kicking from the usual suspects has helped.

Training for the triathlon gave me a focus.  It gave me something else to think about. Frankly, it filled my head and pushed out the other crap that is in there.  Without it, I have no motivation to do anything. 

I have been asked loads of times this week if I'm still going to take part.  I honestly don't know.  It's not looking good.  A month without any swimming, cycling or running isn't really the best prep for any event.  And a month without any serious exercise has meant that I've put on half a stone.  Not great for boosting confidence either.

I'm not looking for sympathy,  I'm just expressing surprise that I feel this way about it.  Kinda unexpected that I'm crumbling at a time when I really should be getting better at handling everything that life is throwing at me.

5 comments:

Kaz said...

Oh bummer Ali!

Why not pick another Tri later on and you can refocus on that one and so recovering from this is part of your training not a ticking away of time.

I don't think it is so surprising you're feeling a bit blue now. I often cope with things near the actual event and then my energy runs out and.....crash. You're right though, no exercise does not help! Having said that maybe your mind just needs to work a few things out and not be pushed off to one side????

As for the half a stone - that could just well be the steroids - I don't think they are very nice things, but hopefully they'll get you well.

Big Hug.
Kaz.

Clodhopper said...

Ali your thinking is too short term. You need to work out where your going over the next year or two not the next couple of months.
It matters not a jot if you make this tri or not. As Kaz says get some more tri dates and commit to them by sending in an application. Work out what else you want to do - hill/trail races maybe whatever but send in an application.
Even if you hadn't been ill you should still have been looking beyond the tri.
Anyway, half a stone is nowt! If you get back in training during the summer the weight will fall off you.
You'll get there Ali but think long term! xx

allybea said...

Thanks Kaz, I am looking at another tri later on. I've removed my countdown as it was stressing me looking at my training time ticking away. You're right, I need to make recovery part of my training first xxx

My wise friend Bob, you're always right. I've never been a long term planner in anything. And I've never thought much about what happens after an event. I literally stopped running after my first marathon despite spending months training properly.

Being ill has really forced me to stop and think about some things. I've surprised myself by what I've realised I want to do next. Starting with losing that bloody half a stone :-) xxx

Campfire said...

I have not read this for a while as it is with another browser.

So sorry that you've been so bad. And yes, there will always be another Tri you can compete in when you're back to full health, just concentrate now on getting yourself better. That's more important.

These things often happen after you HAVE been holding yourself together, then when things begin to relax, WHAM that happens.

Get well, relax a bit.

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